5 MMA fights we wish we could erase from our memories

Not every MMA fight is worth remembering.

The world of MMA is often a wildly exciting and bemusing sport. It’s obviously violent but that’s just a fraction of what it is. More often than not the brutality on hand is often met with the most sincerest form of respect that the fighters give to one another. It makes most of the bloodiest fights digestible. The display of humanity shown in those moments, after a brutal encounter, reminding us that there is civility in the violence. It keeps us coming back. A great fight can make the most ardent pacifist a fan, simply to see the triumph of the human spirit.

Then there are fights that make you want to leap into a wall headfirst just so the impact might knock you out and cause short-term memory loss.

Fights so bad, that you can never forget them, no matter how much you try.

These are the fights we’re talking about today.

Bellator 149: Kimbo Slice vs. Dada 5000

Oh boy, here we go. It’d be unfair to bash Bellator for having this on one of their cards considering how profitable this event was and how every major promotion has had fights like this.

Kimbo Slice vs Dada 5000, however? Sometimes the money isn’t worth it.

The fight was over after the first two minutes when each man poured out their gas tank. A fight ending in two minutes? No one would complain bout that, but that’s not what was stated. The fight was over in two minutes but it didn’t end until the third round. The two men exhausted themselves after a few minutes and spent the next few rounds sucking air. It was so bad that Dada needed to be helped up off his stool in between rounds.

Eventually, Dada collapsed in the ring, Slice was awarded the win, and everyone thought this misery was finally at an end. Except it wasn’t, as the result was overturned to a no-contest after Slice popped for steroids. The show was a financial success, however, with it raking in 2.5 million views on Spike TV and setting a company record gate.

UFC 248: Israel Adesanya vs. Yoel Romero

The fight was supposed to be an exciting affair, but it was anything but. The two men, who regularly land 50 significant shots in three-round fights on their own and easily could hit 100 significant strikes a piece in a five-round fight, connected with just 40 (Yoel Romero) and 48 (Israel Adesanya) significant strikes in the five-round fights.

Their inaction was one of the most baffling, bewildering, and confusing things fans had ever seen. It was so bad the referee of the bout Dan Miragliotta actually had to step in between the men and give them a talking to about engagement.

Did it help?

It did not. The memes that came after though? Now that helped.

Golden Boy Promotions: Chuck Liddell vs. Tito Ortiz 3

This fight never should’ve happened. Ever.

Chuck Liddell was looking slow and sluggish with his striking in the leadup to the fight. This had many people hoping that it was a deceptive technique, designed to throw Tito Ortiz off his game. Make Ortiz think you’re slow, so when you get in the cage, you unleash a barrage of strikes. After all, this was around the time videos of Mike Tyson throwing like he was in his prime started making their rounds. Fans started to think it was possible Liddell still had the striking prowess.

Those hopes were dashed when the fight started and Liddell looked every bit as slow as feared. Ortiz pummelled him with a brief flurry near the end of the first round. It was clear Liddell didn’t have it anymore and the entire event made the MMA viewing audience start rethinking their choices in life.

Rizin World Grand Prix 2015 Part 2 – Iza: Gabi Garcia vs. Lei’d Tapa

Rizin is a beast with two distinct backs. On one hand, they have some of the most unique, interesting, dynamic, and skilled fighters in the world. Capable of beating anyone at any time. Three of their biggest names over the last three years have gone on to become stars in UFC and Bellator; Jiri Prochazka, Karl Albrektsson, and Vadim Nemkov.

Just to name a few, because there are more.

Then there’s Gabi Garcia. Garica is a 6’2, 209 lbs, Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu specialist, and regularly beats up on women who are either too small, too old, or lacking any talent. She made her pro debut against IMPACT Wrestling alumni Lei’D Tapa and despite the fight ending in the first two and a half minutes, it was a fight that lasted far too long. Neither woman had any striking prowess whatsoever and looked more like two random people being pulled from the audience and getting into a fight than two supposed high-level athletes.

Garcia would get the win after a backhanded strike, which you’ll never convince me wasn’t on accident, dropped Tapa to the ground, allowing Garcia to throw some of the shortest hammer fists you’ll ever see in your life.

It’s a spectacle all right. Like a car crash at a NASCAR event.

UFC 83: Nate Quarry vs. Caleb Starnes

Nate Quarry is a forgotten gem in the world of MMA. He was a high-caliber fighter who got a late start in the big-time at the age of 33. He was one of the stars of the first season of Tough Enough, alongside guys Deigo Sanches and Forrest Griffen; the winners of the inaugural season. He was someone the promotion had high hopes for coming off of the show, which he was a favorite to win had he not had to pull out due to an injury.

By the time of UFC 83, he was 9-2, heading into the first Canadian UFC show in a marquee spot on the card. Quarry’s opponent that night was Kalib Starnes from Surrey, British Columbia. A Canadian boy. A fighter who the fans would obviously side with all fight long but a strange thing happened during the fight; Starnes stopped fighting.

Starnes spent the rest of the fight avoiding Quarry, resulting in Quarry mocking Starnes in the final minutes of the fight.

To cap off the utter hilarious-travesty fans saw, Quarry took the mic from fellow Tough Enough castmate Kenny Florian and delivered the famous Rocky IV victory speech about change. The jokes weren’t over, because several days after the event Dana White fired Starnes.

It was a bad fight, but at least it was comical.

Published at Sun, 15 Aug 2021 01:18:48 +0000

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